These days I am painting women. Today as well I was drawn to painting a woman.
When I saw this photo, I wanted to paint at the same time not paint, because the value inside was too dark and I wasn’t sure whether I could pull it off. Also, as I had difficulties in deciding the background of the subject. I wasn’t confident starting this.
After I finished sketching I was very content with my work. I felt I could create freely.
I was anticipating that maybe I would create something exotic and this reminded me of Amedeo Modigliani. Before I started putting pigments, I told myself, “Lauren, be free! Do whatever and however you want!”
I created similar to how I usually create, which disappointed me more than usual.
It was a bit challenging to paint the wrinkles, but looking at the photo now, I can see ways I could have improved. I’m pleased with how I added a yellow tone near the light and was mindful of maintaining contrast, even in the background.
Strangely, this painting feels lacking in energy or character. It looks pretty but a bit boring. This feeling that I have towards this painting disappointed me and I felt sorry for the art.
At this stage, I'm exploring my artistic style and preferred medium. I know I need patience, but I’ve been feeling a bit impatient lately. I realise that every artist evolves, and their styles change over time. For example, Picasso and Paul Cézanne didn’t have a single style—they progressed and changed. Raoul Dufy did not limit himself to a medium or a single style, he explored so much! They proudly claimed all their work as part of their journey, and without that progress, we wouldn’t have the masterpieces we admire today.
I’m sure they also experimented and had artist’s block. From this work, I’ve decided to try something new, starting small. Or perhaps I’ll try abstract art again, which I miss for its expressive freedom. Somewhat I am drawn to something abstract but the subject is from real life.
Painting often like these days has taught me that finding joy in the process is crucial. Even during phases of feeling stuck, it’s important to ask: What brings me joy?
It’s been more than a year since I painted something abstract. Maybe I should challenge myself with that again? I want to discover what brings me joy—which medium, subject, or approach will spark me?
I love the finished piece!